Rumored changes to make UO more fun(satire)

1) all magic spells once cast will then also bounce back and hit the mage who cast it, if he is wearing reflect, it will bounce to an innocent - thus flagging the mage as a criminal to be attact by all onsight.

2) fencing changes... all fencing weapons will break after about 10 swings, since they are so fast. they will deterioate faster.

3) potions will only work 1 out of every 5 times.

4) once any animal is attacked....i.e. bunny, bird, deer.... attacker is permantly grety to that species of animal and is mass attacked on sight by any and all members of that animal group within 20 screens.

5) healing...bandages will fall off randomly after a healing causing massive bleeding and almost instant death if another bandage is not successfully applied immediately....which of course is 99% impossible because of all the blood pouring out.

6) death....resurrection will become difficulty based, and can only be tried once an hour.... new skill will be added to reflect the addtional time spent as a ghost: OOOoooOOOing once you reach gm OOOooooOOOer healers can res you more easily.

7) hiding.... random coughing and sneezing will be added to the game so that once a person is hidden... random body functions will happen every 3 seconds thus unhiding the person.

8) stealing.... after 10 thefts, if caught the guards will chop off a character's hand, if caught again the other hand is then chopped off... to compensate for this loss the characters stealing skill points will be converted to the begging skill.

9) fishing... a new creature will be added, a giant whale this creature will be pulled up every 4th or 5th time the fishing skill is used....the creature will swallow the fisherman\\woman and drag them to the deepest part of the sea and deposit their body where it will be eaten by another new creature sharks....if the various parts of the fishermanwoman's body are recovered and returned to a healer resurrection can be attempted (success based on the person's OOOoooOOOing skill level ...see #6 above.)

10) Lord British will make more personal appearances....and begin enjoying the privileges of being the monarch.... lock up your wives and young daughters !!!!! and possibly even your sheep!

-Amber Starfire [Chesapeake] on May 12, 1999