Rumpelstiltzkin
Scripted by: Kita Talith of the Golden Brew Players

Cast (In Order of Appearance)

The Illustrious but Evil Lord:  Thorin Ironbeard
The Tailor:  Kita Talith
Rumpelstiltzkin:  Kendrik O'Reilly
The Maiden:  Ursula Wyldstorm
The Messenger:  Kita Talith (or Liz? she has volunteered)

Scene I - The Audience Chamber of the Illustrious but Evil Lord
Setup:  The Illustrious but Evil Lord (IBEL) is seated in his throne.  The Tailor enters and approaches, bowing obsequiously as she does. 

Tailor:  M'Lord, you sent for me?

IBEL:  *eyes the Tailor impatiently* If you are the Tailor, then yes.
IBEL tosses a blue robe upon the floor in front of the Tailor.

IBEL:  I wish to have a copy of this robe made in Royal Purple.  It is more befitting my status. And mind you use only the best cloth.  I'll not have shoddy workmanship.

Tailor picks up the robe and bows again repeatedly.
Tailor:  Oh yes, of course, M'Lord.  It shall be as you say... why, I use only the best cloth.  My beautiful daughter is the finest spinner/weaver there is... why... she could... she could even spin...umm... straw into gold! Yes... she's that good, she is....

IBEL:  Oh really? *smiles evilly*  Boasting is a flaw in a tradesperson....

Tailor:  *quakes*

IBEL:  *examines his nails for a moment then pins the Tailor with a stare*  Prove it.

Tailor:  *quakes again*  I ... I beg your pardon, M'Lord?

IBEL:  *nods*  I said... Prove it.  If your daughter is as clever as you say, bring her to my
palace tomorrow and I'll put her to the test."

Tailor:  *stands for a moment, dismayed.... then slumps and bows again.*  It shall be as you say, M'Lord.

Scene II - A Chamber in the Castle of the Illustrious but Evil Lord, the Next Day
Setup:  The Tailor and The Maiden are awaiting IBEL. 

Maiden:  Mama!  You told him WHAT?  But I don't know how to do that!?

Tailor:  I know... I know... I am a foolish woman...  I will have to tell him I boasted....*sobs*
My life will be forfeit... but that is my own fault for boasting so foolishly.... *sobs*

Maiden:  *puts arm around her mother*  Oh no! No!  There, there, Mama... I want no harm to come to you... I will... I will think of something... do not tell him that you boasted, I beg you.

IBEL enters and they bow. 

IBEL:  *eyes the lovely maiden*  Well, well... the young peasant girl who can spin straw into gold.

Maiden bows again 

Maiden:  *keeping her eyes upon the floor*  You honour me, M'Lord.

IBEL:  Woman, take yourself home and leave your daughter with me until I summon you. 

Tailor:  *casts a helpless gaze at her daughter*

Maiden:  *nods reassuringly*

The Tailor leaves. 

IBEL:  "Now, girl!  You see around you a room full of straw.  Set to work and spin all night
till early dawn, and if by that time you haven't spun the straw into gold, your life shall be forfeit!"

IBEL exits.

The Maiden sits in the chair by the spinning wheel...

Maiden:  Oh... oh my... whatever shall I do?  I have no idea of how to spin straw into gold!

Maiden:  *begins to weep*

Enter Rumpelstiltzkin (RUMP)

RUMP:  Good evening, Miss Tailor-maid; why are you crying so bitterly?"

Maiden:  Oh! I have to spin this straw into gold, and I haven't a notion how it's done!  *sobs louder*

RUMP:  What will you give me if I spin it for you?

Maiden:  I'll give you my necklace

Maiden takes off necklace and puts necklace on table.  Rump picks up necklace and puts it on.  Rump then sits down at the spinning wheel and proceeds to spin all the straw into gold.  Maiden smiles and oohs ahhs over the gold piles

RUMP:  It is done, and none too soon, for the sun is rising to greet the new day, and your lord shall soon return. *scampers out*

IBEL enters.  Maiden turns to face him and bows.

IBEL:  Oh my!  How astonishing!  How can this be??  You have spun all the straw into gold!

IBEL collects all the gold

MAIDEN:  *keeps her eyes to the floor and curtsies again*

IBEL:  *thinks to himself.... hmmm... what a source of riches this girl might be... but... could she do it again I wonder?....*

IBEL:  Servant!  MORE STRAW!

Maiden:  *gasps in dismay*

Servant/messenger carries in straw and puts it around the room.

IBEL:  I must see if you can repeat this amazing feat...  perhaps you brought the gold with you and hid the straw somehow! Here is twice the amount of straw... spin it into gold before morning or I shall know that you have tricked me and you shall be put to death!

IBEL exits.

Maiden:  *begins to weep*

Enter Rumpelstiltzkin (RUMP)

RUMP:  What will you give me if I spin the straw into gold for you again?

Maiden:  I'll give you the ring from my finger.

Maiden takes off ring and puts ring on table.  Rump picks up ring and puts it on.  Rump then sits down at the spinning wheel and proceeds to spin all the straw into gold.  Maiden smiles and oohs ahhs over the gold piles

RUMP:  Again, it is done, and none too soon, for the sun is rising to greet the new day, and your lord shall soon return. *scampers out*

IBEL enters.  Maiden turns to face him and bows.

IBEL:  Oh my!  How can this be?  Again you have spun all the straw into gold!  'Tis a great talent! 

IBEL collects all the gold

MAIDEN:  *sighs in relief, keeps her eyes to the floor and curtsies again*

IBEL:  *thinks to himself.... She's only a tailor's daughter, but I couldn't find a richer wife if I were to search the whole world over.*

IBEL:  Servant!  MORE STRAW!

Maiden:  *gasps in dismay*

Servant/messenger carries in straw and puts it around the room.

IBEL:  You must spin all this away in the night but if you succeed this time you shall become my wife

IBEL exits.

Maiden:  *begins to weep*

Enter Rumpelstiltzkin (RUMP)

RUMP: What will you give me if I spin the straw for you once again?

Maiden: I've nothing more to give.  *continues weeping bitterly*

RUMP:  Then promise me when you are a Great Lady to give me your first child.

Maiden:  *thinks to herself... I really don't want to marry that awful evil lord... but it is better than dying... and...who knows what may not happen before this dreadful little man returns and claims my babe? Besides...there is no other way out of it...*

Maiden:  I promise.

Rump then sits down at the spinning wheel and proceeds to spin all the straw into gold.  Maiden smiles and oohs ahhs over the gold piles

RUMP:  Again, it is done, and none too soon, for the sun is rising to greet the new day, and your lord shall soon return. *scampers out*

IBEL enters.  Maiden turns to face him and bows.

IBEL:  Oh my dear girl!  My wondrous girl!  We shall be married immediately!

IBEL collects all the gold, collects the Maiden and exits with both.

Scene III- The Lady's Chamber in the Castle of the Illustrious but Evil Lord, One year later
Setup:  The Maiden/Lady is cooing over a bundle of cloth (her baby) and humming lullabies.  RUMP enters.

RUMP:  Hail, M'Lady! I kept my end of the bargain and spun your straw into gold, and now you are a great Lady.  Now give me what you promised.

Maiden:  Oh no!  You cannot... not my baby!

RUMP:  A promise is a promise, and a promise shall be honored.  The child, if you please.

Maiden:  *weeps bitterly, clutching the baby to her* No... you cannot have my baby!  You may have all the riches in my realm, but leave my child! I beg you!

RUMP:  No, a living creature is dearer to me than all the treasures in the world.

Maiden:  *continues sobbing and wailing bitterly*

RUMP:  *watches for a moment, feeling a bit guilty and somewhat sorry for the Lady*

RUMP:  Oh, very well then... I'll give you three days to guess my name and if you find it out in that time you may keep your child.

RUMP exits

Maiden:  *ceases sobbing and wipes her tears away, and turns to the baby*

Maiden:  I shall save you!  I shall send a messenger to scour the countryside for names and report all that she finds back to me!

Maiden emotes *the night passes*

RUMP enters

RUMP:  One day has passed my lady, and you must show me your progress! Tell me, what is my name!?

Maiden:  Kasper?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden: Melchior?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden: Joshua Rowan?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden:  Belshazzat

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden:  Well, I have two more days...

RUMP:  Indeed you do!

Rump Exits

Maiden emotes *the night passes*

RUMP enters

RUMP:  Two days have passed my lady, and you must show me your progress! Tell me, what is my name!?

Maiden:  Sheepshanks?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden: Cruickshanks?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden: Death?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden:  Spindleshanks?

RUMP:  That is not my name!

Maiden:  Well, I have one more day.

RUMP:  Indeed you do!

Rump Exits

Maiden emotes *the night passes*

Messenger enters

Messenger:  Milady! Milady! Good news! I have not been able to find any new names, but as I came
upon a high hill round the corner of the wood where the foxes and hares bid each other good night
I saw a little house, and in front of the house burned a fire and round the fire sprang the most grotesque little man hopping on one leg and crying

"Tomorrow I brew
 Today I brake!
And then the child away I'll take!
For little deems my royal dame!
That Rumpelstiltzkin is my name!

Maiden:  Oh, messenger! you shall be rewarded!  *claps her hands happily*

Messenger Exits

RUMP:  Now, My Lady... the last day has come... there shall be no more dawdling! What's my name?

Maiden:  Um...Is your name Conrad?

RUMP: No

Maiden:  Is your name Harry?

RUMP: No

Maiden:  *smiles slyly* Is your name, perhaps, Rumpelstiltzkin?

RUMP:  ACK!  Some demon has told you that! Some demon has told you that!  Oooh I am so MAD! I am so MAD I believe I shall explode!

RUMP explodes and recalls away...

 THE END