Xavori
Da Gimp
I was walking towards the orc
fort on the far side of Cove Mountain, when I came upon a
fearsome looking warrior sitting on a throne in the middle of the
road. He was outfitted in a full suit of bone armor.
"Hail!" called out
the warrior.
"Well met" I replied.
He then stared off into the
distance, so I continued on my way into the fort. It is one of my
favorite places to find victims as well as an occasional orc for
sport. I wandered completely around the fort, but for once, it
was deserted. Being familiar with the area I quickly made my way
to the orc's storage areas and spotted a new chest in one. I
opened it and found food and gold as well as a strange looking
staff. Not being very good at identifying items, I couldn't tell
what was so unusual about it, and decided to find a merchant to
teach me how to tell different types of magic enchantment from
each other.
I left the fort and started
back down the road. The bone-armored fighter was still sitting in
his throne. I paused for a moment then decided that anyone that
powerful looking who would sit so casually in a throne in a
hostile area must have interesting items to play with, I decided
to investigate further. I moved up on the fighter, sneaking from
tree to tree, and then hid near his chair.
While exploring his pack, a
clumsy archer who was running towards the orc fort stumbled into
me. He immediately started spouting off about his
"discovery".
"Some invisible guy is
hiding here," cried the archer.
Angrily grumbling to myself, I
took up a combative stance and started moving towards the archer
to chase him away. He took off running, so I relaxed and started
walking back towards the warrior.
"Are you a PK?" asked
the bone warrior.
"Excuse me?" I
replied.
"What did ya have to go
and attack him for. Are you just a peasant killer?"
"I am not a murderer. How
dare you insult me so." I replied.
Admittedly, I have committed
murders. However, none of them have ever been peasants. Peasants
have done nothing to warrant my attention.
"I just don't want you
killing peasants," he said.
"I do not kill peasants. I
demand satisfaction for your insults."
Demand satisfaction for your
insults? Yes, I know. Very haughty and all that. But I was bored
and he interested me. Especially since he was so fearsome
looking, yet seemed so reluctant to attack me.
"I demand you shut up.
:)" he giggled.
Okay, I enjoy making smart
comments to pompous fighters as much as the next rogue, but not
when I am the one being pompous.
"Give me your gold and I
will consider your insult removed. Else, I will seek my
satisfaction with your blood." I threatened.
"Ya, whatever"
I could not figure this out.
Here was a fighter, armored in fearsome bone armor, wielding a
halberd and he appeared well muscled and prolly stronger than
myself. I cast reactive armor on myself and prepared to find out
why he didn't want to fight.
"You die." I stated
matter-of-factly.
"Try it, " he
chuckled.
Immediately, I dropped into my
fighting stance and attacked him. To my surprise, he didn't swing
back, but instead took off running. My first several blows struck
home in his yellow back. Finally, he turned to defend himself.
His first swing struck my magical shield and rebounded on him. It
shook him badly, and again, he took off running. A couple other
fighters started watching and he started begging for help.
"Help! He's a PK. Attack
him!" he sobbed.
"The knave insulted me. I
am getting my justification from his yellow hide."
The fighters started talking
amongst themselves, trying to decide who to believe.
"I am a noble of Vesper.
He is a lowly thug seeking to create his name by attacking me.
Believe him not." I said.
This seemed to convince them,
even though so many have learned how hollow Lord British's titles
truly are. So, they stayed out of the fight.
The warrior took off down the
path between Cove Mountain and the water. However, several
fighters were going the other way and blocked his path. He tried
to shove through them to no avail.
"MOVE! DAMMIT! GET OUT OF
MY WAY!" he cried. "HE'S A PK! HELP ME!"
I smiled and said, "Nay,
fool. I am a noble teaching proper manners to a foolish
whelp."
He stumbled a few more steps,
and then my war fork found a vital, and he dropped.
Before his last breath, the
fighters that had watched the fight had stolen all his items,
even the gold that I wanted. Several of them apparently knew this
fool, for they called out insults.
"Da Gimp, you bitch,"
called one.
"So where's your clan now,
Gimp" called another.
Deciding that apparently my
earlier misgivings about him were correct, I decided to check
into his reputation further (in other words, I was bored). So, I
moved off a ways, but still in sight of his corpse, and hid.
After a few moments, Da Gimp
came back to see if any of his equipment remained. A good natured
man gave him back a few items that he had manage to rescue from
the vultures.
"What happened?"
asked the man.
"Some guy PK'd me for no
reason," he replied.
Unfortunately, almost all of
the fighters who had witnessed the fight had left, and Da Gimp
started gathering another group to hunt me down.
"Stupid PK killed me and
stole my stuff"
"Who was it?" asked
one of the new group.
Da Gimp answered, "I don't
know his name. He was wearing all black plate armor."
Oh, this was too perfect. I
killed him after goading him into a fight and he didn't even know
who I was, just what I looked like. Well, that can be
changed…
I put on a bright red robe and
grabbed my red shield and mace from my pack. I also switched my
black plate help for an orc helm. I moved out of hiding and
approached the group.
"What's going on?" I
asked.
"We're getting to go hunt
down the guy who killed me," answered Da Gimp.
"Who was it?"
"Don't know. But he was
wearing all black and headed up to the orc fort."
"How good a fighter is
he?" I asked (I love digging for compliments from my
victims).
"He tough, but if we all
attack at once, we can take him," he answered.
Wow. Seven fighters to take me
out. I must be really good. I decided I didn't want to lead this
group that was going to take on a fighter as good as I apparently
was.
"Let's go." I said
and waited for him to lead us to the fort.
We took off up the path.
Apparently, most of the others lost interest or really didn't
want to risk being caught by me, because by the time we got to
the fort, it was only Da Gimp and me.
As we entered the fort, a
fighter decked out in gold plate armor was standing near the
gate.
Da Gimp told him, "We're
looking for the guy who killed me."
"What's his name?"
asked the gold clad figher.
"I don't know, but he's
wearing all black, " he said. "I need someone to guard
the way out while I go find him."
"I'll watch the gate,
" I volunteered, figuring I could prolly keep myself from
escaping in case I tried to make a break for it.
"brb" called out Da
Gimp as he ran off into the fort.
As soon as he was off screen, I
turned to the fighter.
"Want to know a
secret?" I giggled.
"Sure. What?" he
replied.
I took off my red robe and
switched back into my normal outfit.
The fighter looked at me and
started laughing.
"I am the one who killed
him and now I'm helping try to find me so we can get
revenge."
"Why'd you kill him?"
he asked.
"He insulted me and then
attacked me," I answered.
"Well, have fun," he
said as he walked off.
I casually strolled back
towards Cove figuring that Da Gimp was starting to bore me and
maybe the other fighters would attack me and blow their
noteriety. I got ready to run as I approached the group.
"HERE HE IS," called
out the first fighter who saw me.
The rest of the group ran over,
and I quickly looked around and saw fear, not fight in their
eyes. They also looked very unsure of the their fighting skills
in attacking someone who seemed so at ease in obviously poor
odds.
"Da Gimp has misled all of
thee. For 'tis him, not I that attacked."
"You took all his
stuff," called out the first figher.
"Nay, I am a noble and
such looting is beneath me."
"Hey, he's noble,"
called out one of the other fighters.
"Noble doesn't mean
good," replied the first.
Apparently this fighter has
dealt with many of Sosaria's so called nobles. I normally would
not argue against him. However, in this case, no purpose would be
served by discussing politics save to force me to flee for my
life.
"Noble means I don't kill
people," I answered.
"Hmmm" thought the
first out loud.
By this time Da Gimp had
finished looking for me in the orc fort and had returned.
"THERE HE IS! ATTACK
HIM!" he called out.
"Foolish knave, doth thou
need another lesson?" I answered.
"KILL HIM! HE TOOK MY
STUFF!"
At this point, Da Gimp's
ravings were boring me. So, I walked off with him trying to
convince anyone to help him kill me. Alas, no one did and I
returned to my woods to find new toys…
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