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May 1999

"The Kinder, Gentler Player Killing Guide"
- Overview: Kinder, Gentler, Evil Player Killer

You enjoy the PVP, the adrenaline rush, the fear of your victims and all the other perks that go along with killing other players, yet you hate the stereotypes. You hate the insults, the rumors, the complaining and the "Bad Reputation" that everyone has given you. Perhaps it isn't too late for a change?

What if you were the type of PK who people actually envied? Supported? Cheered? If you could become THAT sort of Player Killer, would you do it? If so, continue reading on.

- The Bold Announcement

If you are already famous and people know where to find you both in game, on message boards, your web page, etc. then you will need to start off by notifying the masses that you are changing your tune, sort of. Simply say that you plan to alter your ways and become the Player Killer that people respect, as opposed to the player killer who gets stuck with the title of, "Kewl Dude", "Loser", "Jerk", and other expletives that I cannot share in this article. Shedding your old ways isn't such a horrible thing, you can still kill and cause fear, but you will simply do it in a new fashion that allows your victims a bit more honor and prestige, while you come out smelling a little more like roses, sort of.

- Defining the Old School Player Killer

The "Old School" player killer is stereotyped as someone who kills, usually at random, without ANY care in the world for the victim, or his things. You enjoy the fight, you enjoy the fear of your victims, you enjoying knowing that on the other side of the internet, someone is truly upset and cursing your name, so disgusted that thoughts of quitting Ultima Online may actually be running through their mind. To you, that is exciting and appealing...

Many player killers curse a lot, so much so, that you would think that their insults and curses are macroed for quicker torment to your victims. In addition, player killers are often called: Exploiters, bug abusers, cheaters, hackers, and many other things that I cannot write in this article... *cough*

Some of these things may be true, for some. While grossly inaccurate for others. Either way, this is the stereotype and the shared opinion of MANY people who have fallen by the virtual hands of player killers.

- The "New School" Player Killer

Ok, here is the section that will have several people either laughing at me, cursing me or praising my name (Not likely). What I propose to all Player Killers, young and old, is to redefine your persona in a way that will be more palatable to your fellow Ultima Online players. A new approach that will give you ALL THE PVP you desire, all the death and destruction, the fear, the stamina rush, and so much more... all wrapped up in a package that the roleplayers and PVP players will accept, and perhaps, enjoy.

1.) Imagine if you (and your guild) killed someone, WITHOUT cursing him/her out, insulting them, or making crude statements/gestures when they have fallen. Is that so hard to do? Getting rid of this one aspect alone would make you a better PK, period. From the victim's 'gray' viewpoint, dying is bad enough. Adding insults on top of this is just outright pathetic and hurtful, and it goes from in-game torment to real life pain and disgust.

2.) Once your victim/s have fallen, imagine taking only a FEW items of interest, as opposed to looting all of their hard earned items. I am sure you are all laughing now, perhaps kicking your legs on the ground and turning blue... but try to get through this point with me. Imagine taking a few things that you could actually use: A magical sword, some armor, regs, etc. - and leaving the rest for the fallen victim? If you are REALLY looking to be nice, perhaps set a standard for your guild and only take ONE MAJOR ITEM from the victim, and leave his/her belongings alone - period. Sure, you wouldn't be SUPER RICH, but you would gain respect from that person who you just KILLED. Of course, if a third party person is eyeing up your kill and his/her belongings, you could always take the stuff, secure it in a bag, and give it back to the victim afterwards. WHOA! I know, crazy stuff I'm spewing here, but it would make you RICH in character, as opposed to being rich in gold and POOR in character.

3.) If you are actually still reading this, and haven't dyed from hysteria.. my next step in this reformation program would be to RESURRECT ALL YOUR VICTIMS, if and when you could. You killed them, you took what you wanted, they know that you are a "Bad Ass"... so why NOT rez them? Would it be so bad? Two things could happen: a.) They would truly respect you, and not consider you a ruthless punk player killer, or b.) they would still be upset, perhaps say nothing, and leave the area VERY quickly. Either way, you are a much better person for having helped them out. With a few instances like this, you will be on your way to fame and newfound respect.

4.) Ok, you are starting to see my point now and it doesn't sound so horrible. If you are still interested in what I have to say, perhaps you can do the following things as well, after your victims have died and/or been resurrected by you (or your guildmates): a.) Offer them some regs for recalling or gating, b.) Gate them yourself to somewhere safe, perhaps a bank, c.) Give them back all their runes, if you took them, d.) Explain that you are a player killer, but that you really are trying to do it in a mature way - and that you didn't mean any harm by it. Ok, that last part MAY be a bit over the top, but it could lead to a new friendship and word of mouth about how amazing you were... that kind of indirect advertising ISN'T A BAD THING, believe me.

- Feedback Regarding This Article

Ok, here is the hard part, at least for me. If you wish to flame me, insult me, curse me out, or actually offer advice on how I could tweak this article and make it better suited for the PKing masses, please send your comments to: Brimstone

I actually care to know what you all think about this article and my ideas. Are they far fetched? Would you and your guild be willing to try this out? Do you think that others may read this and perhaps try it? Should I shove this article up my.... never mind. You get the idea.

Thanks to ALL THE PKs who actually read this letter, this far. I can't WAIT to hear what you have to say...

Posted on Thursday, May 13, 1999, 12:35 PM EDT by Brimstone (Editorials)