[Intro Music]

Lilia Morgan:
Crisis in Britannia, Day 78.
I'm Lilia Morgan and you're listening to Britannia Network News.
In the news today.
All of Britannia awaits, as expectations arise for Lord British's next speech, still unconfirmed at this time. Mages across the realm have been reporting what was described as a disturbance in the mana. One grand master in Britain described it as a, "pulling, tearing feeling as if something is being ripped or shredded." Court Mage Nystul has launched an investigation and has issued a statement calling on all mages to send him whatever information they have on the phenomenon.

Male voice:
Hi,I'm Evil Guy.

Another male voice:
And I'm DeathD3wd.

Male voice:
You may not be one of the l33t folks that was able to attend our Mongbat Emporium ribbon-cutting party last week,...

Another male voice:
...but you still have time to attend our going out of business sale.

Male voice:
That's right, DeathD3wd, you need to come check us out. If you like mongbats, man, we've got the digs for you. We've got mongbat corpses, mongbat pets, mongbat ribs...

Another male voice:
...mmm, mongbat ribs...

Male voice:
...mongbat chowder, mongbat dung,

Another male voice:
...good for the garden...

Male voice:
...mongbat hats, rookie mongbat major league mongbat trading cards, mongbat hair weaves, and..

Male voices together:
...mongbat piņatas!

Male voice:
So come on down to DeathD3wd and Evil Guy's Mongbat Emporium, because life's too short to live without mongbats.

Lilia Morgan:
Welcome back to BNN. In the rest of the news, Craenor, a retired blacksmith, who originally hailed from Minoc, has been at the center of the recent events in Trinsic. When the first reports of an undead offensive were heard, a BNN reporter interviewed the stubborn Craenor, who refused to flee in light of the news, stating, "I've lived in Trinsic for ni' on thirty years. This my home and I ain't a'leavin'." Shortly after the advancing hoards began their relentless assaults on the fame port city, Craenor was quoted as saying, "Undead, schmundead, a few zombies never hurt nobody. I'm retired and that means I ain't a'leavin'." When the city finally fell, one of our most daring field corespondents returned to the home of Craenor to get this final quote, "Oooooh Ooooooooh." Whether or not he said I ain't a'leavin' is being determined by a master of spirit speak. Although it appeared that Craenor still has no intention of leaving his home, even to located a healer. Well that's the news for today. I'm Lilia Morgan and you've been listening to BNN. Good day.

[Exit Music]