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An Ultima Online Bachelor
As the month of February draws to a close, we celebrate those who have chosen to embrace the single life in Britannia: the bachelors. Some have been wounded by love and walk with closed hearts. Some have found love in virtue, others in folly. Many a Britannian woman has scoffed at the affections of her warrior suitor, and many a man has found his eccentricities a bit too much for the local lass.

Our spotlight this week focuses on one such bachelor. Pfredd Mudd, Evil Tailor of Chesapeake, is a man of exquisite taste and a somewhat demanding fashion sense. The two combined have left him in endless pursuit of a ‘perfect’ woman, who has yet evaded him.

 “I did not start out in life planning to remain single. As a lad, I had the normal assortment of grammar school ‘crushes’, and while in prep school, I dated regularly.
“However, as I grew into adulthood, I started to glimpse my destiny. I started to view the world in a different light - the light of one whose taste in fashion and culture were years in advance of anyone else. I started to make suggestions on how my companion for the evening might have dressed better, or I would often reject their suggestions as to what we would do for the evening, as it was usually of questionable taste or value.

“As you would imagine, my dates usually did not take kindly my suggestions or ideas, and rarely would I take them out again.

“Realizing that finding my intellectual equal was very likely an impossible task, I went the other direction, and started dating fashion models. These vapid airheads were often very well dressed. If not, they would gladly allow me to make them a new outfit. And, with their lack of knowledge of anything but fashion, they were open to doing the sort of activities that I liked to do. These activities included walking amongst the great-unwashed masses of Sosaria, making fun of the poorly dressed and socially lacking. Sometimes, I would take pity on one of the souls, and give them one of my old outfits (one that I had worn once before). I also liked to take my date to various public establishments, and allow the common folk to gaze upon our splendor.

“One evening, I chanced upon a soul whose manner of dress so enraged me, that almost without knowing it, I knocked the fellow unconscious, and brought him to my workshop. There, I designed him a new outfit, clothed him in it, and released him back where I found him. My date for the evening, a model named Midori, who would do just about anything for a cookie, assisted me. After that evening, we would do this on a regular basis. This is how I earned my ‘Evil Tailor’ title.

“Unfortunately, Midori, whom, as I mentioned earlier, was not the brightest being around, let loose our little secret to other models she worked with. A few others thought it an exciting adventure to force fashion upon the unwilling, but others thought that it would mean more competition for them if commoners were as well dressed as they were, so I was forced to close my shop and go ‘underground’.

“That brings us to the present. I still thrill in the adventures of enlightening the lives of others by clothing them in the best of fashions (even though THEY may not appreciate my methods).

“I still read the papers, fashion magazines, and ‘Gossip Columns’ in search of one who would make a suitable companion. One who can, at least, appreciate my talents. One who thrills in blessing others who are less fortunate, as I do every evening. One who has the same impeccable taste in haute couture and entertainment as I.

“Until I find that person, should she even exist, I must remain alone, in exile.

-Pfredd Mudd - Evil Tailor

Join us next week, when we spotlight the adventures of a young warrior, arriving in Britannia in the midst of a deadly struggle for control of our very realm. Don’t forget to keep an eye on FYI for future spotlight topics!

Published: October 2000
Please Note: Some dates are estimates as exact dates were unavailable.
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