UO Stratics - Crisis in Britannia

Crisis in Britannia, Day 29

I'm Bundor Bard and you're listening to Britannia Network News.

In the headlines today:

The mysterious attacks on six of Britannia's cities continued overnight. According to reports from BNN field crews, the attacks seemed particularly fierce in Trinsic and Delucia. Statements by leading citizens in Trinsic characterized the attacks there as near siege level. Steady streams of the undead continue to assault the walls almost 'round the clock. There are also rumors that a massive army is gathering near the city. A petition from leading Trinsic merchants was delivered to the Mayor late yesterday asking for definite word on the army's status. The petition also asks whether the city should be evacuated. We'll be right back after these words.

[Sniveling male voice]:

I'd love to help you out, but I can't heal you. I'm out of ginseng.

[Male announcer voice]:

Has this ever happened to you? Do you have trouble gating your friends from town to town because you've run out of mandrake root? Can't summon that daemon cause you're short on bloodmoss? Well then, come on down to the Magical Light. We've got everything you need right here at the lowest possible prices.

[Sniveling male voice]:

Sulphurous ash?

[Male announcer voice]:

You know it.

[Sniveling male voice]:

Nightshade?

[Male announcer voice]:

Only the best, picked midnight in the presence of a grandmaster mage.

[Sniveling male voice]:

You couldn't possibly have spider's silk.

[Male announcer voice]:

Oh, but we do my friend. Guaranteed to be the freshest money can buy.

[Sniveling male voice]:

All this at discount prices?

[Male announcer voice]:

The lowest prices anywhere. If you can find cheaper prices we'll be happy to let you shop there.

[Sniveling male voice]:

What about the selection?

[Male announcer voice]:

The largest in Britain. If it's in stock we're guaranteed to have it.

[Sniveling male voice]:

Thanks Magical Light, now I can cast again.

[Male announcer voice]:

The Magical Light, just across the street from the Vesper Bank. Offer void on Siege Perilous, other restrictions may apply. The Magical Light is not associated with Magical Light Industries, a division of the Blackthorne Coalition.

Bundor Bard:

In other news, Sir Geoffrey ordered by Lord British to capture a prisoner for interrogation has been reported in the vicinity of the city of Yew in the company of Lord Iolo. As you know, that city has been attacked by numerous mongbats of all sizes and power. There are also unconfirmed reports of orcs and gazers. In sports last night, the Bucc's Den Pirates scored a controversial win over the Nujel'm Knights to advance to the semi-final round of the full-contact soccer league playoffs. The Knights have charged the Pirates with numerous rules violations during the contest, including illegal use of blade spirits and pking the Knights' goalie during the third period. And that's the news on this 29th day of crisis in Britannia. I'm Bundor Bard.

[Exit Music]

Title: Crisis in Britannia, Day 29

Author: OSI

Abstract: Britannia News Network

From the Britannia Network News