UO Stratics - Crisis in Britannia

Crisis in Britannia, Day 41.

Hello, I'm Matthew the Bard and you're listening to Britannia Network News.

In the headlines today.

Sir Geoffrey and Lord Iolo have been definitely placed near the city of Yew. The two warriors and friends of Lord British are trying to capture a prisoner to question. British and his military advisors are desperate to find out who and what is behind the invasion of the realm. Sir Geoffrey is quoted by one local reporter as saying, "I'll have my prisoner and I'll have him soon." We'll be right back after these words.

Male voice:

The following is a paid advertisement for Barry and Gary's Tunic Temple

Barry:

Gary, you'll never believe what I saw yesterday. It was an absolute nightmare!

Gary:

Do tell. Do tell.

Barry:

I was out looking for sheep outside of Trinsic, strictly for the wool of course, and I saw a band of fifteen or so adventurers wander into the city walls.

Gary:

Oh that's just awful! What with evil befalling the city and all that rifraf being able to cast magic everywhere. It's such a tragic affair isn't it?

Barry:

Well honey, let me tell you, that wasn't the worst of it. They were all wearing matching yellow tunics.

Gary:

Uhh! Oh no. Please tell me they didn't go there. Yellow, that's so last moon phase and if they'd just taken the time to stop by our shop this whole disaster could have been avoided.

Barry:

You mean there's something we could have done to prevent the terrible spell that's been cast over select British towns?

Gary:

Oh god no. We could have outfitted them in black or even a nice gray. I mean yellow, I've seen people corp pored for less. Barry if you ever catch me in yellow this time of year just take me to Deceit and leave me for dead.

Mail Voice:

Don't get caught in the wilderness in last season's colors. This time of crisis is no time for a fashion faux pas. Come on down to Barry and Gary's Tunic Temple for the finest tailored garments in all of Britannia. They've got clothing for every occasion. Whether you're fighting the undead in Trinsic or mongbats in Yew, Barry and Gary won't let you leave their shop looking like a newbie.

Barry:

Come to Barry and Gary's Tunic Temple...

Gary:

because we won't you to look...

Barry and Gary:

fabulous!

Matthew the Bard:

In the rest of the news, ratman raids on the City of Britain have been increasing in numbers of late. There has been speculation among Lord British's military advisors that Britain may be the next take-over target for the invaders. And now we have a message from Lord British to our friends behind enemy lines in Trinsic. John has a new sword. John has a new sword. The old lumberjack chops wood slowly. The old lumberjack chops wood slowly. The little girl hamstrings the nasty balron. The little girl hamstrings the nasty balron. And that's the news. I'm Matthew the Bard for BNN.

[Exit Music]

Title: Crisis in Britannia, Day 41

Author: OSI

Abstract: Britannia News Network

From the Britannia Network News