UO Stratics - Crisis in Britannia

Crisis in Britannia, Day 51.

Hello, I'm Whinchel the Scribe and you're listening to Britannia Network News.

In the other side of the news today.

Flash! British kidnapped and still missing. Who's to blame? Nobody knows and nobody's talking. A little birdy in Britain town told me there's more to this then meets the eye. Scandal? Maybe, stay tuned! Flash! More undead in Trinsic. Not all is bad however, Trinsic society mavens rave about the culture of the liches. It's high society in the City of Honor. Flash! Who's running the government? A confidential source says martial law is near. It may be fast days and slow nights for all Britain Town. More after these words.

[Soft music]

Female voice:

Heya big boy, looking for a good time?

Male voice:

Lonely? Shy? Tired of spending long days vanquishing daemons? No one special, when you're tired, to come home to? If this is you, sigh no more. Madame Yenta the matchmaker has specialized for 25 years in finding mates for insecure adventurers. Using her exclusive communication crystal dating service you can see and be seen by eligible ladies from all over the realm.

Another male voice:

Uh, hi. My name is Brandon and I'm a 25 year old fencer from Skara Brae. I like uh fighting and uh you know killing things. I'm uh, I'm looking for an old fashioned girl; one who isn't afraid of water elementals or long sea voyages and who has a well-developed sense of humor.

Female valley-girl voice:

Like oh my god! Like grody. Eww.

Male voice:

So don't be shy. Come see Madame Yenta and all your dreams could come true.

Madame Yenta:

Eh, they don't make lawyers like they used to. Okay, okay, we'll do what we can.

Male voice:

Madame Yenta the matchmaker, cause dating shouldn't be a cash transaction.

Whinchel the Scribe:

Welcome back to the other side of the news. [Typewriter sounds] Flash! Lim the Slightly Angry mobbed by adoring fans near the City of Minoc. Adoring fans then killed by Lim. Is anyone safe from the scribe of death? The world waits. Flash! Hearttown heartthrobs Rocky and Madonna tie the knot. Or did she tie the knot and put a hitch in his gimlaw? Friends say it's Delucia days and Nujel'm nights for the performers of passion. Stay tuned for the breakup. And that's the other side of the news. I'm Whinchel the Scribe, until next time this is BNN.

[Exit Music]

Title: Crisis in Britannia, Day 51

Author: OSI

Abstract: Britannia News Network

From the Britannia Network News