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Matthew the Bard:
Crisis in Britannia, Day 76.
I'm Matthew the Bard and you're listening to Britannia Network News.
In the headlines today.
Trinsic has been freed. Lord Dupre has yet to make a statement, but sources close to the Dupre encampment claim that spirits are high in the City of Honor. While speculation is running rampant on what this may mean to the Crisis in Britannia, many of the freedom fighters are wondering just how long the City of Honor can be kept free from the clutches of Juo'nar and Minax. This just in, Lord British is safe. The monarch's friend and compassion Dupre, revealed last night that British was never in danger and had in fact not been kidnapped at all. Our report indicates that Shamino was dressed as Lord British and allowed himself to be captured in order to gather intelligence on the enemy. Dupre would now say where Lord British was at the moment, only that he is, "in a safe place and using Shamino's information to develop a solution to the current crisis." Lord British is expected to make a speech on the morrow, but this remains unconfirmed. The Grand Master Mage Minax is said to be furious over being duped. She is also said to have vowed to burn all of Britannia to the ground. BNN reporter Drenon Quick is now on the way to Minax's camp and we hope to bring you a live interview sometime in the next few days. More news after these words.

Male voice:
The literary world has just been turned upside down. You've never read anything like it. If you need to know more about Minax and her pals you simply must read,"Eyes on a Dark Mistress," subtitled, "I Just Wanted Love." The author, known only by the pen name, a Gazer, is currently though to be in hiding somewhere in the mountains near Yew. This brave and misunderstood soul, sometimes known to his friends as Bubba, has levitated forward to reveal the awesome truth about what goes on behind enemy lines and between enemy sheets. Order your copy now and you'll receive a free edition of the last best seller, "Joye: Confessions of a Dead Librarian."

Matthew the Bard:
Welcome back to BNN. In the rest of the news, outside Britain a barking vendor was heard to exclaim, "Crazy blow-out specials!" Ranger Olf, intrigued by the comments, utilized the vendor but was hardly disappointed by what he found. "I expected to see something wild, like a pink dragon that could sing or some kind of wacky explosives. All I found was a sword, some bread, a suit of plate mail, and a stack of ginseng. What's so crazy about that?" An investigation by the Britannia Better Business Bureau is underway. And that's the news for today. I'm Matthew the Bard and you've been listening to BNN.

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