Crisis in Britannia, Day 82.
I'm Lady Machiavelli and you're listening to Britannia Network News.
In the headlines today.
We have a live interview coming to us from Yew. BNN reporter, Owen, is standing by somewhere near Keeonean's forces. Owen?
Is this the Morgan Inn? It's unknown. Oh gees, greetings lords and ladies this is Owen of Yew bringing you word of dire developments here in the north. I'm standing now near the shoreline by a small boat only a little ways away from the main battle, where I am told Keeonean's countless orcs and mongbats have laid siege to the city. Even here, the skirmishing has taken on a most grim appearance. All throughout Yew, many great warriors have given their life this day, that others may live. Ah, here comes a fine warrior now. She's headed toward this spot it appears, perhaps to replenish her supplies. Goodly lady, have ye a minute to speak to the citizens of Britannia?
Out of my way, I have not time for idle chatter bard. I'm on my way to battle.
But, my lady, the battle is that way.
Hmm, so it is. Thanks for the directions.
Prithee lady, wait a moment, tell us how the battle is going so far. You appear to be trying to get onto your boat. Are you replenishing your supplies?
Huh? What? Replenishing my supplies? Yeah, that's it. I'm replenishing my supplies and sharpening my sword. Right, right.
But, my lady, the smithy is that way.
Not the one in Skara Brae. Now out of my way, you're standing on my plank.
But, but a moment longer lady, do you think we can be saved by the virtues?
Virtues? Virtues? Bard, have you ever heard of the ninth virtue? It's called mind your own business. Now this is your last chance to avoid the afterlife, so out of my way.
[Male cries of pain]
This Owen of Yew, live from Yew, and now back to you. Oh, no wedgies, please, no wedgies!
Thank you for that lively interview Owen. Next time I need an interview with Keeonean, I'll go get Drenon. And now for a quick word from our sponsor.
Little boy voice:
Mommy, what happened to Grandpa?
Nothing, nothing at all just go back to bed. For Mommy, okay?
Don't let this happen to you. If you lose a loved one, family friend, or even a neighbor. Make sure you put them where they belong, six feet under. The Moonglow Graveyard, where what's buried, stays. Brought to you by the Council for a More Life-like Britannia.
In the rest of the news today, three campers have been reported missing in the woods near the town of Skara Brae. Last seen several days ago, the group had been wandering about questioning town's folk about the legend of Scarab Ray, a pirate mage who was rumored to have terrorized the area several centuries prior. Search parties coming the nearby woods have discovered no trace of the campers, but have returned to town with wild tales of odd pentagonal seaweed sculptures hanging from trees. I'm Lady Machiavelli and you've been listening to BNN.