UP : Britain (Lake Superior)
'Twas a fine day for cooking in the eyes of Stubbs the cook the other
day, so the Britain chef put out some tables and had himself something that he called a
barbecue. "I wished to introduce the fine art of the barbecue to the folks of
Britannia," said Stubbs, "I find that often so many people are in such a hurry
to be fighting monsters or, heaven-forbid, each other, that they miss some of the finer
things about Britannia. I consider cooking a good meal to rank right up there with slaying
the meanest dragon around."
The barbecue was held outside Britain's butcher shop, The Cleaver.
The feast included all types of meats including bacon, chicken legs, whole barbecued birds
and the ever-popular ribs. "It is impossible to hold a good barbecue without
ribs," said Stubbs the cook, "and, of course, ale, which we also had plenty
Stubbs the cook alerted the town criers of the event and apparently
paid for the feast from his own pocket. The Town Cryer food reviewing staff thinks
this might have been a carefully planned investment, though, as the food was so
mouthwateringly good, that many of the Town Cryer staffers have gone back to the
butcher's shop again and again for more of the meats. We have noticed that the food is not
free anymore, but are hooked on the succulent meats at this point, and can do nothing
The most interesting part of this so-called barbecue is an
orangish-brown sauce that Stubbs the cook first presented at the public feast. He would
say nothing of its origins or the recipe that made up the tasty sauce, but insisted it was
a closely held family secret that has been passed down through his guild for generations.
The Town Cryer foods section would certainly like to find out the makings of this
tasty sauce and hopes to negotiate the publication rights so that all Britannians may try
their luck at this barbecuing.
The public barbecue, however, appeared to be a stunning success. Many
fine citizens dropped by to participate, and nary a stomach left the tables without being
full. This reporter had to leave without sampling all of the fine meats, as some sort of
inner voice spoke to me and said, "You are simply too full to eat anymore."
Curse my stomach! If I can only somehow become known as a grandmaster eater, my days will
be forever content.
From the Town Cryer - The Journal of Ultima Online, Saturday, April 18th 1998