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Of Drinking and It's Follies
Amidst the screams of battle, the roars of monsters and clash of steel, the last thing one expects to hear in a dungeon is laughter. In this tale, three brave adventures get themselves into a bit of trouble that turns into a truly silly situation!

 One fine day on the world of Napa, three members of the Knights of the Vale decided to journey to the dungeon of Shame. Included in this adventuring party were the mighty Valerno and the hard fighting and even harder drinking Bolderthrower brothers, Hurl and Burl.
After entering the dungeon, the three were disappointed to find not a single creature to fight. However, signs of several terrific battles were evident. For in those days monsters not only carried gold, but also backpacks with food and wine inside. Most adventures would cast these aside when looting their kill and the floor of the dungeons were always cluttered after any fight. Hurl had heard the rumors that monsters preferred tidy dungeons to live in so he began picking up the discarded backpacks with the thought of leaving the trash on a corpse to decay.

The three comrades made their way to the second level of Shame. Near the northern banks of the river that cuts though that level, they were attacked by two water elementals. A particularly viscous fight broke out and as the Knights began to get the upper hand, the cowardly elementals fled onto the river. Using a barrage of deadly magic the brave adventurers destroyed the two elementals. But this left their loot magically deposited upon the surface of the river.

This infuriated Hurl who cried out "I must have that bag and its gold!" At that time it was possible to teleport upon an object on the water and Hurl, having seen several clever adventures do this, tried it himself. It worked and the greedy Hurl was transported upon the bag. He quickly snatched up and then attempted to return to the shore, by the same manner, only to find that he could not teleport because picking up that bag had made him encumbered!

Unable to drop the huge pile of discarded backpacks in the water and too encumbered to teleport or recall, he searched for some way to lighten his load. He ate what little food he had and was still too heavy. He then pulled out all of the discarded ale, beer wine, and cider in his bags and began drinking … and drinking.. and drinking. After drinking 20 bottles of liquor he was drunk beyond belief. Suddenly, another elemental appeared right next to him and attacked. Only constant healing from Burl and Valerno kept the drunken Hurl alive and finally the elemental was defeated.

Burl encouraged by the piles of loot upon the water also teleported out and began collecting it. Meanwhile Hurl had finally lightened his load to the point were he could teleport but found this difficult to accomplish between the mana loss due to intoxication and the almost constant hiccuping. After many attempts he finally reached the shore and the adventures left Shame with Burl and Valerno leading the stuporous Hurl back to the Tower.

-Hurl Bolderthrower

The UO website throughout July will be proudly displaying the amazing and fun Dungeon stories and screenshots, adventures, and tips right on the front page. We invite you to check the front page regularly for new and interesting Dungeon information. And don't forget, next Friday will feature a brand new spotlight. We hope that you will be as impressed as we were with the upcoming Guild Dungeon adventure!

Published: October 2000
Please Note: Some dates are estimates as exact dates were unavailable.
Ultima Online ESRB Rating
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