Return of the Trolls


Jasper McCarrin, traveler

    Vesper can be unsettling at first - constantly surrounded by water. It put me off a bit when I first made my way here. But now I call Vesper home. It is the place I always return to after wandering the realm.  Something about this place makes it even more special when you become part of it. Which is what makes my tale all the more infuriating. And disturbing. I'm not a warrior by trade, and I tend to avoid that kind of excitement. In all of my travels, I have only drawn my sword a handful of times.


    And half of those were to clean and polish the poor neglected thing. But today Vesper, my town and my home, was attacked. An obscene army of ogres, ettins, and trolls planted itself at the north bridge and waylaid anyone who attempted to cross either into or out of town. That in and of itself may not be so worthy of note, because such creatures often get it into their head to create havoc. Actually, I don't believe that anything gets into those thick skulls. They simply see something and naturally go into attack mode. But this group of ettins, ogres and trolls was unique. It was the first time I had ever seen a group of such creatures that numbered as many as this one did. Hundreds. Maybe even thousands. And it was also the first time I know of where a group of such creatures could accurately be called an army. They were organized! This army was even led by two trolls. Brothers named G'Splat and G'Thunk. Organization and leadership. Even orcs rarely achieve this level of competence. I can't believe I'm actually using the word, "competent," to describe trolls.

More Trolls

G'Splat and G'Thunk had their troops seal off the north end of the city, which effectively isolated Vesper from the eastern coast. Anyone daring to cross the north bridge paid dearly. At first I laughed this off, knowing that the Royal Guard could handle any threat from some "monsters." But when the battered company of city defenders was led and carried back into town to the healers, I knew something was afoot. Trolls. And ettins. And ogres. Attacking MY town. Never! I grabbed my sword (a brand new sword - my previous one broke in half when I used it to hold up one end of a makeshift hammock) and headed to the bridge. The better part of the citizenry of Vesper was already on its way there. It was a bitter fight. I'm proud to be able to say I tried to help defend my city, but I must admit that I did not? um?  fare well. Guess I should have been hitting those practice dummies at the guild hall rather than swapping stories over pitchers of ale at the tavern.


    In the course of all this, I came face to face with the leaders, G'Splat and G'Thunk. They were rallying their army for another assault. Their broken version of our fair language was almost as painful as the blows they delivered with their clubs. Yes, I said our fair language. They spoke. Somehow our language must have been the only common thread between the three types of monsters. Well, they share a love of bloodshed as well, but you know what I mean. They called us "hummies." They claimed the bridge as being theirs. They seemed to think that we had pushed them from their rightful home. Or something like that. (They really need to learn to use adjectives and complex sentences if they are going to speak our language.) But the gist was that they wanted to separate the east coast from the rest of Britannia and to claim it as their own.


    So there I stood, eye to bellybutton, with the smartest trolls I had ever seen. Needless to say, I made a lame excuse and got the hell out of there. Not the bravest of approaches, but? well? I had just cleaned my shirt and blood is really hard to get out of cotton. Or whatever. Eventually, the tide turned in our favor, and we pushed them back into the forest. G'Splat and G'Thunk were heard to call for help from some "Lady," but none was forthcoming. It seemed a very strange thing to do - - G'Thunk yelled, "Lady! No leave us Lady! Need Flee!" Perhaps it was just some sort of ruse to aid them in their retreat. That's just not a very satisfactory explanation, though. Hmm?


    Too many questions remain. How did two trolls manage to learn to speak, organize an army, and lay siege on Vesper? Why do they want the eastern part of the continent as their home? Who is this "Lady" they cried out to for help? Could a class in rudimentary grammar be made available to them? I have also heard on the vine that there were outbreaks of violence in other parts of them realm on the exact same night as the attack on our bridge. An attack of some sort near Yew and another just west of Trinsic. I have a close acquaintance involved in a ritual of some sort at the shrine of spirituality. I hope that whatever violence occurred wasn't in that area. I fear for his safety. But, no! I worry too much. I shall travel to Trinsic first thing and meet him for a glass of ale. Hmmm? better make that a pitcher of ale. We will leave the questions raised by these recent events to those more equipped to answer them. Until next time, dear reader, I bid thee farewell.